Random Thoughts

Just some completely random thoughts:

God is so patient with me... and I think He laughs a lot when I inform Him how I'm gonna do things.

Easter was great, I went to one of 3 Saturday night services at Tomoka Christian (and they had 4 today which are almost over right now! I'm sure Joe and the staff are exhausted!). I wore a blue dress... and I love it, it's beautiful. And I love Tomoka, a lot more than I love the dress. Except for the dress and extra special worship service, Easter sort of just came and went. I think it was the not having family to go with thing. But I have great friends, so that makes up for it.

So I bought some 500 thread count sheets at Target a few weeks ago and I finally put them on my bed and they are AMAZING. So I went to bed last night perfectly happy and content, but woke up about 3 in the morning and felt horribly sick. I didn't know wether to get up and head for the bathroom or what, but I couldn't move, even to get a drink of water by my bed. It was horrible so I just laid there for a couple of hours until I finally fell asleep again. And when I woke up this morning, I felt fine. So that was weird, and very unpleasant.

Oh, and God has revealed some more things to me recently... more information to come, but I'm excited!

Empty Me of Me

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright

To see how it gets in the blood.

And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride

And found a little is not quite enough.

I know how I can stray

And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside

Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

And any foolish thing my heart holds to

Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies

To know how prodigals can be drawn away.

I know how I can stray

And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside

Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

And any foolish thing my heart holds to

Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing

Compared to you, compared to you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing

Compared to you so why surrender all?

Empty me of the selfishness inside

Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

Empty me of the selfishness inside

Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

And any foolish thing my heart holds to

Lord empty me of me so I can be

Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Oh, filled with you.

Empty me.

--Chris Sligh

Happy Trails

Well the time is coming for me to begin planning to leave Florida... and I am so disheartened about it. I never thought I'd say that I'm not ready to leave Ormond Beach! I'm certainly ready to be living with people my age again, but there are so many things that I have grown to love about this place.

God is so awesome. When I got here, the only things I earnestly asked for here were 1) a church to become a part of and to grow spiritually in and 2) true and good friends. And God gave me the absolute best of both. Tomoka Christian is such a wonderful church. I never cease to be amazed that everywhere I go, He provides THE church for me immediately. I never have to shop around, it's right there! I feel that Tomoka is in line with where God wants his people. And friends... God truly blessed me in that department. And these people were the first friends that I made "post-school" which is a truly terrifying ordeal and I genuinely love them. I could really BE here.

I feel like I'm in such a hard place right now. I plan to leave a place that I love and go to a place that I kinda' hate in order to pursue something that for many reasons, I shouldn't even attempt. It's so exciting to watch where God is directing your life, but sometimes it's quite hard to take that leap of faith. I've been praying for Him to impose His will on my life, and as of yet, He hasn't changed my mind about California. I'm kind of scared that if I was given the tiniest reason to stay here though, I would.

Oh, and as I did when I was in London, I'm at the two-months-prior-to-departure point where I get a bit weepy everytime I'm at church. It usually only lasts for a moment, but something will happen in worship, communion, prayer, or the sermon that reminds me of something here, and I just start crying. It's pretty ridiculous I know. But in London, I HAD to leave or I would have become an illegal immigrant. Not the case here. I'm actually choosing to leave

So this is completely unrelated, but everytime I see it on my friend's facebook I laugh. And I hate to end my posts without something light hearted so:

Jen